I was on instagram and stumbled on a video which I can't recall but it was a comment that stood out to me. At the time I was crying over my ex-narcissist partner after months of no contact, and someone posted:
"In real life, alot of people do bad things and not only do they get away with it, but they also keep doing bad things and they arrive at the end of their life happy and fulfilled. This is a truth so dark that literally no one is talking about it."
So I thought about that. Does that mean narcissists or "dark triad" cluster B personalities can be happy or fulfilled? Can someone with limited or no emotionally empathy be happy?" Did I just waste years of my life suffering from the toxic abusive people who will go on to live and die happy? It's a deep and unsettling topic. It touches on questions of morality, ethics, justice, and the nature of happiness itself.
People with traits of narcissism, machiavellianism, psychopathy often prioritize seeking power, control, and admiration over genuine connection. Although they might "appear" successful, powerful, or even happy on the surface because they often attain what they desire (e.g., status, material success, external validation). From an outside perspective, or from people who do not understand the complex nuances of abusive relationships, it may seem like they're getting away with things and leading fulfilling lives.
However, their sense of happiness is often tied to external factors rather than inner peace, connection, or emotional empathy. Research suggests that people with these traits may experience short-term gains in their pursuit of pleasure of success, but this doesn't always lead to deep, lasting fulfillment.
For example, Narcissists, can feel a sense of achievement when they're admired, but they often struggle with inner emptiness or dissatisfaction when the admiration fades.
Psychopaths might feel no remorse for their actions, but this lack of emotional depth can prevent them from experiencing genuine joy or connection.
Emotional empathy allows people to form deep, meaningful connections, experience compassion, and feel a sense of belonging. People without it may not experience those benefits. But here's the nuance: happiness is subjective, and for some, it can be defined by power, wealth, or the avoidance of consequences, rather than emotional fulfillment.
That said, empathy is closely tied to meaningful relationships,which are often cited as one of the biggest contributors to long-term happiness. Those who lack empathy may struggle with this kind of joy, even if they seem content on the surface.
Society doesn't always hold people accountable in ways that feel just or fair, especially those in positions of power or influence. Some people do avoid legal or social consequences due to their cunning, manipulation, or connections. This can lead to the perception that they’re not only getting away with bad behavior but thriving because of it.
However, inner peace, personal growth, and authentic happiness are different from the superficial markers of success. Research suggests that people with higher levels of empathy and compassion tend to have better mental health and deeper connections, leading to more sustainable well-being.