Intimate Partner Violence: Insights from Experts and Survivors
Intimate partner violence (IPV) is a complex issue that many individuals struggle to escape. Dr. Vanessa Abernathy, a psychologist and professor at the University of Southern California, highlights a significant psychological mechanism at play: intermittent reinforcement. This phenomenon often begins in the early stages of an IPV relationship, where the perpetrator pressures the victim to commit quickly. This is followed by an idealization phase, often referred to as "love-bombing," during which the victim is inundated with positive experiences that alter their mood and perception.
However, this idealization phase is soon overshadowed by a devaluation phase, where the victim may endure various forms of abuse—emotional, psychological, spiritual, physical, coercive, and financial. This transition creates a cycle of cognitive dissonance. Victims find themselves holding onto positive memories from the relationship's early days, hoping that if those feelings were experienced once, they might return despite the ongoing negative experiences. This cycle can keep victims focused on the past instead of the current reality of their situation.
As the abuse escalates, particularly when physical violence increases, it becomes crucial for victims to break the silence and seek support. Speaking out can help dismantle the isolation and false narratives that lead them to believe they are alone or flawed. Connecting with a supportive community can illuminate shared experiences, providing a safe space where victims can feel heard and validated (HHS Partnership Center, 2022, October 28, 42:29).
Doreen LeSane, CEO of Sunshine in My Living Room, a nonprofit dedicated to assisting women affected by IPV and family violence, emphasizes that fear plays a pivotal role in why individuals struggle to leave these relationships. Cultural and religious beliefs that stigmatize divorce, along with practical challenges such as having children, financial dependence, and age, contribute to this struggle. Alarmingly, every day in the United States, approximately 20,000 calls related to IPV or family violence are made, with acts of IPV occurring every 10 seconds. This highlights the critical need for support groups that foster understanding and community among those with similar experiences (HHS Partnership Center, 2022, October 28, 20:32).
The Role of Social Workers
According to the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) Code of Ethical Standards, particularly Section 1.02 on Commitment to Clients, social workers are dedicated to promoting their clients' rights to self-determination. However, they must also exercise professional judgment, especially when a client is at risk of harm to themselves or others, as is often the case with IPV (National Association of Social Workers, 2021).
California's duty to warn law, specifically SB 1134, emphasizes this responsibility. Amended in 2013, the law shifted from a "duty to warn" to a "duty to protect." This places a proactive obligation on mental health professionals in California to safeguard potential victims, which may involve notifying law enforcement or taking other measures to prevent harm (Weinstock, R., Leong, G. B., & Silva, J. A., 2014; Justia, n.d.).
Stories of Resilience
Soft White Underbelly. (2023, April 15). Child abuse survivor interview – Deanna [Video]
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The journeys of survivors like Deanna and Saundra exemplify incredible strength and resilience. Deanna’s path is both wise and inspiring; despite facing significant adversities, she has cultivated a fulfilling life while raising healthy children and excelling in her nursing career. Her choice to advocate for others by sharing her experiences speaks to her noble commitment to helping survivors heal and thrive. What stood out to me in Deanna's story was her decision to have children because she wanted to make sure her suffering wasn’t in vain and to give her children the love she missed out on. This aspect of her experience really impacted me. I'm increasingly understanding how cultural factors shape relationship dynamics and how support groups can play a crucial role in helping individuals dealing with IPV/FV feel less isolated.
Unfiltered Stories. (2022, September 17). I wore a mask for 12 years to hide it [Video]
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Saundra's story also reflects profound strength. After enduring betrayal, gaslighting, and abuse from her husband—and nearly losing her life due to failures in the state public healthcare system—she has triumphed over drug addiction and the pain of her son not recognizing her. The stories of Deanna and Saundra affirm that survival, healing, and thriving after trauma are not only possible but achievable, offering hope to those in similar situations (Soft White Underbelly, 2023, April 15; Unfiltered Stories, 2022, September 17).