Author: Michal Peretz | Published on Nov 26, 2024 | Blog Last Updated on May 04, 2025 | Time: 05:21 PM

Stereotypes of Older Adults

I think there are several assumptions the young people in might make about an elderly person. One assumption could be that elderly people, especially in public places, don't want to have fun or aren't interested in the same things younger people enjoy. There might be stereotypes that older people aren't engaged with the outside world (Scheve, T. & Venzon, C., n.d.). For example, seeing an elderly person eating at a fast-food restaurant or visiting venues like a bowling alley or arcade might seem surprising to them. Younger people might hold stereotypes that "grandma" should be in the kitchen cooking a comforting meal or "grandpa" is only working on old cars or woodworking. These ideas ignore the reality that older adults are as diverse in their personalities, hobbies, interests, and abilities as any other age group (Scheve, T. & Venzon, C., n.d.).

Another common stereotype is that older adults aren't tech-savvy, such as struggling to order from a fast-food menu. However, this assumption is unfounded. For instance, the famous mathematician John Nash, known for game theory and featured in the film A Beautiful Mind, was tech-savvy and used email until his death in 2015. Vint Cerf, co-inventor of TCP/IP and widely regarded as one of the "fathers of the internet," is 81 years old and remains active in his field. Some negative stereotypes suggest that older adults can't adapt to technology, ignoring the fact that older generations have been instrumental in developing much of the technology we use today (Martinez Conde, J., 2022, February 16).

A third stereotype might be that older adults don't want or need close relationships, based from assumptions that they are "mean," "grumpy," or "set in their ways." These misconceptions might come from childhood experiences or media, leading younger people to justify their negative attitudes or bullying. Through the lens of power and control dynamics, younger adults may perceive older adults as "weak" or "frail." While it's true that older adults may experience some cognitive or physical decline, this should not be conflated with weakness or irrelevance (Martinez Conde, J., 2022, February 16).

Ageism is cruel and after a deep reflection on the subject made me tear up a bit. The young couples' remarks would have me feel rejected, heartbroken, and maybe a little drained from the negative environment but ultimately, I'd be happy to get my food, and on a deeper level, if I were the elderly person, would have already developed a high level of mental resilience and a strong sense-of-self so I wouldn't particularly be phased by the bullying. However, I'd probably feel disheartened and not wish to return to that restaurant again.

This discussion reminds me of Marianne Williamson's book, A Return to Love. In Chapter 7, she shares an experience of being rejected by a lover who "ghosted" her for weeks, ignoring her calls and texts. She describes how this left her feeling both angry at him and deeply sad about the rejection. Williamson reflected on how these emotions trapped her in a dilemma: either stay angry with him or remain sad and powerless over the situation. Eventually, she realized there was a third option - forgiveness. By choosing to forgive him, she wasn’t excusing his actions but freeing herself from the burden of resentment. She decided to let go of the problem and trust a higher power to handle it. Her forgiveness was not for him, but for her own peace of mind.

Williamson’s concept of forgiveness is something I would apply to the situation with the younger couples making hurtful remarks. Their behavior is not my problem. By choosing to forgive them and entrusting the situation to G-d (or in whatever higher power a person believes), I can release myself from anger and sadness. While we can’t control the actions of others, we can always choose how we respond to them.

As a social worker, I would approach the elderly person in a warm and friendly manner and say, "Hi there, I just wanted to check in with you. Are you finding everything okay here?" This approach would help create a supportive, safe environment without directly referencing the behavior of the bullies. I would redirect attention from the younger couples by focusing on the well-being of the elderly person, saying something like, "The menu has some great choices! Would you like to find a quieter place to sit and enjoy a meal with me?" While doing this, I would monitor the behavior of the young couples to ensure they don’t escalate to harassment and intervene if necessary. By prioritizing the elderly person’s well-being, I would give them an opportunity to feel accepted, supported, and respected.

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